Any grownup should have a wide range of skills at their beck and call. Everyone should know how to take care of themselves and their loved ones, whether it’s just another mundane day or an actual emergency. Stuff like knowing how to sew on a button, cooking a meal that’s more sophisticated than making cereal, taking care of your verdant garden (and what not to do, say, if you come across a bear).

Unfortunately, some people still divide up some activities and behaviors according to gender, based on some pretty ambiguous assumptions. This idea sparked a discussion online after redditor u/international_red07 asked everyone to share some “unmanly” things that are actually the opposite. Scroll down to read what people had to say about this. 

#1

I have a beard that would make sasquatch jealous. I like scotch whiskey, Dominican cigars, and American motorcycles. I worked most of my adult life as an ironworker. But none of that is the manly part:

When my daughter was 3 to about 6 or 7, it was common for me to go to work with my nails painted every color of the rainbow.

Letting your little girl paint your nails is manly as f**k, gentlemen.

#2

Supporting women's rights. Real men don't need to control women.

Image credits: sagan_drinks_cosmos

#3

If someone tells you something is “unmanly”, tell them a real man would be secure enough in their manliness to not give a s**t what they think.

Image credits: TheMan5991

It’s really peculiar to realize that some everyday tasks get stuck with labels like “manly” or “unmanly.” We’re talking about basic skills that help someone be self-sufficient.

Everyone needs to eat, so you’d better learn how to cook and bake. You might need to mend your clothes, so knowing how to use a needle-and-thread simply makes sense. Who doesn’t enjoy watching their vegetable garden thrive? And why should someone’s gender determine whether or not they should like singing or dancing as a hobby? Someone’s gender doesn’t come into it—these are all very human things to do.

#4

Ordering a fruity drink.

“A real man orders a beer!”

No, a real man orders whatever the f**k he wants.

Image credits: Incredible_Mandible

#5

When I was a kid I was once at a clothing store and I saw a pink men’s shirt. I said out loud “what kind of men wear pink shirts???” and my mom said “secure men”. For some reason that always stuck with me.

Image credits: anon

#6

"NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT"

-MR. TORGUE

Image credits: smiling_at_cheese

When you start attaching gender to these activities and skills, you end up making everyone less independent. At the same time, you put people under a lot of pressure to ‘conform’ to how their social circle or culture views masculinity and femininity. Now imagine the stress someone has to deal with when they’re faced with entirely different cultural expectations when they move somewhere else or join a new social circle.

Objectively, boiling an egg (cooking) isn’t manly or unmanly. Neither is moving your feet (dancing), using your vocal cords (singing), or watering flora (gardening). However, our surroundings, family, and upbringing shape how we perceive these activities.

#7

I had guys tell me it's unmanly to use/carry an umbrella.

Those wet, insecure bastards can go screw themselves!

#8

Being an attentive and involved father. I can change a diaper one handed and I'm proud of that fact.

Image credits: probabletrump

#9

Sewing. When you're stuck on a boat in the Pacific during WWII, you'd better know how to stich up your own uniform. Source: both of my grandfathers.

Image credits: DrSmartron

According to a 2006 study done by The Pennsylvania State University, the social rules of gender continue to play “a prominent role” in leisure activities like sports. The researchers found that “girls experience greater social latitude in their sport participation than boys.” In other words, society sees it as more acceptable for women to participate in masculine activities than the reverse.

“Girls and women are at less risk for gender stigma if they pursue masculine activities than boys and men if they pursue feminine activities. This may be due to a higher social value and status assigned to masculine activities and the efforts on the part of girls and women to gain respect by achieving in a traditionally masculine field,” they write.

Broadly speaking, boys and men who stray from masculine norms raise questions about their masculinity. So they have less flexibility when it comes to participating in “unmanly” sports and recreational activities.

#10

Reflection and apologizing when you're wrong.

Image credits: playdoughfaygo

#11

I love growing flowers, sewing, cooking, baking, and other activities that are viewed by some as "girly" activities. I also love traditionally manly things like fishing, building furniture, mowing my lawn, etc.

A long time ago I was upset by some of my friends ribbing me for liking to do "girly" things. My dad handled this by teaching me that the manliest thing a man can do is "whatever the hell he wants".

Image credits: thedopfien60

#12

Buying feminine products for your SO. I have no shame buying tampons or pads when I do the grocery shopping, which is always. Men that get all embarrassed or won’t do it are the “unmanly” ones.

Image credits: atreus227

Many of these issues are rooted in social expectations. To oversimplify things a bit, men are expected to never be perceived as vulnerable, weak, or soft. They’re also pushed to be aggressive and competitive. These are traits that some interpret to be examples of toxic masculinity.

Healthy masculinity, on the other hand, is exemplified by self-reflection, embracing emotions (whatever they might be) instead of repressing them, and being comfortable with having one’s opinions challenged. 

#13

I heard cooking for your family labeled as unmanly due to men wearing an apron around a gas stove, by the same people who grill for their family while wearing an apron around a gas grill.

Image credits: Qimmosabe_Man

#14

Wearing sunscreen. Nothing looks dumber than a guy who’s so afraid to seem “girly” that he gets turned into a lobster.

Image credits: an_ineffable_plan

#15

Talking to cats in a cute voice.

#16

My friends were amazed at how I "allowed" some drunk guy talk to my girlfriend for like 10 minutes at a festival. Bro, why the f**k would I care, she didn't seem distressed and enjoyed the conversation and I'm not insecure. She'd tell me/let me know if she was uncomfortable and needed help. I don't feel threatened, I have nothing to proof and my girlfriend is not some possesion I need to protect from other men.

Going up to the guy and doing whatever just makes you seem to radiate insecurity to me. Not manliness.

#17

Hygiene and cleanliness. I live on my own and I love having a clean and neat house.

Image credits: TheMonkophile

#18

Being gay. I mean u are a man and you like man's. What could be more manly

#19

Holding your friends accountable and calling them out when they’re being a d**k towards women or just in general.

#20

Ballet. Those dudes are strong!

#21

Cooking, cleaning, folding laundry, being good with kids, being patient, crying, hugging your good guy friends

Image credits: National_Square_3279

#22

I’ve always been more attracted to “manly” but smart and funny. I was dating an honorably discharged marine who is now a pastry chef for maybe 2 weeks when I mentioned he’s the best of both worlds. He’s manly and strong but also smart and gentle. His response: “I know. I built this narrative.” Known each other for 14yrs, dated for 7, married for 5. Absolutely in love.

#23

When my dad was a kid, a bully told him to meet him after school for a beating. Dad simply never showed up and went directly home instead.

Image credits: ugagradlady

#24

Being there for your kids

Image credits: doravec88

#25

Walking away from a physical fight, instead of getting involved/the whole “I could put you in hospital but I won’t” nonsense. A true “alpha”, if you must use that word, doesn’t need to assert his dominance like that.

Image credits: tihurricane

#26

Crying; men can have feelings, too!

#27

Taking care of your skin. I hate how some of the guys I work with and serve with (I'm in the army) give me s**t for using products for my face and skin. But they also wonder why I get told I look like I'm 25 even though I'm almost 36. Because I take care of my body.

Image credits: Reasonable_Spare_870

#28

Gardening.

I've also been called a homosexual by multiple other guys for saying I like gardening.

#29

Tea party with toddlers

#30

Respecting boundaries.

Image credits: Unsolicited_Spiders